Listen in on this

This is all unimportant, but my PR person and blog board of directors have all been arrested. This includes my ombudsman, Gary Coleman (no not the one on TV, but his Asian twin brother).

To make a long story short, discontent was brewing on the business side of the blog when my ratings went down causing the investors to actually read my blog. When they realized that I had participated in unholy and subversive activities such as supporting "Buy Nothing Day," Cindy Sheehan, and renting a foreign movie, they got worried. Then they started monitoring my actions on the web and saw that I was reading Digby, Fafblog, Susie Madrak, The Left Coaster, Billmon, Atrios, Common Dreams, Alternet, Mother Jones, The Nation, Harper's, Americablog, David Sirota, Lac-du-chien-enflamme (sorry, no accent), Buzzflash and googling Brittney Spears. If only I had stuck to the WaPo and NYT. Please, I promise not to publish anything that you, my editors, might get in trouble with, especially if it is the truth.

And now it turns out that the McCain Anti-Torture bill does not prevent torture. Now I have to worry about that too. When will it end? I hope you're ok.

Not written under coercion...Sincerely...

New Orleans to France: Buy Us

This was in the Times-Picayune and is reposted here. It speaks for itself.

Dear France, please buy us!

Joan Fox of New Orleans writes:

Dear France,

Greetings from Louisiana! We are shopping for new owners, and we immediately thought of you! Our present rulers haven't been taking very good care of us and we are looking for a better deal. They are spending all our money in a place called Iraq (somewhere in the Middle East). We thought that perhaps you might want to revisit an old land deal you made long ago.
If you've been reading the papers lately, you may have noticed that we have had a few problems with "water". No, we're not offering you a deal on a damaged water park. (Althouugh that's what it looks like from the air) Seriously, we need help, and fast.

Some things you might like here:

1. We named the state after your King Louis
2. We named the city after your city, Orleans
3. We have lots of French names on the streets
4. We still have Napoleonic law (maybe you can explain it to us!)
5. A lot of our citizens speak French (the accent will grow on you)
6. We like French food and wine
What we can offer you:
1. a toehold (rather wet!) on the continent
2. an incredible port
3. Lots of oil and gas
4. Lots of restaurants
5. Jazz
6. Mardi Gras (you won't believe what we do with this!)
7. Some of the most beautifu houses in the world (very, very wet)

What we need from you is simple:

1. Wetland redevelopment
2. New levees
3. Lots of new houses (but we want them to look old like the ones we lost)
4. We need schools and hospitals rebuilt
5. If you insist, we wouldn't mind some more outdoor cafes like you folks are famous for.

Please think this over carefully. Our current owners are so busy in other countries, they might not even notice if you come down here and take a look around. We'll put you up in grand style in a place we call "The French Quarter" (yeah, really!) and you can have lunch at a place we built for your very own Napoleon, which we call (you guessed it!)Napoleons". You'll be right at home.
Oh, just remember, we would like the levees and the wetlands taken care of ASAP, sometime just after lunch if not sooner.

Yours sincerely,
A homeowner in New Olreans
Joan Fox

Death

Tookie Williams will die shortly after midnight tonight. I don't know whether he committed the crime or not, and actually its not important to me. In fact, I think it is a very bad idea to be making a big deal about him or any other individual facing the death penalty except for those who are too mentally incapable of doing so (the handicapped, the very young, etc.). Focusing on Tookie demands knowledge of the case and perhaps it is now impossible to know the truth about the murders he is accused of commiting.

What is not impossible to know or understand, however, is that statistically speaking the death penalty does nothing to deter crime of any sort, and it is much more expensive than having life in prison. Moreover, killing is wrong, and the State should not do it or condone it implicity by execution.

Focusing on Tookie allows the pro-death penalty people to bring personality and fear-mongering back to the table as they exploit the very real racism that lies just beneath the surface of American life. Moving our focus to the larger questions allows a saner debate, one that we can win.

I am dismayed that anyone at all will die tonight at 12:01 am, but let us remember all of those ineloquent and poor people who don't gain the Left's attention. It is the whole group of death row inmates that we should be fighting for, as the death penalty is a waste, and it is wrong.