Monday, March 06, 2006

Sphincter of Light© Contest!

We all know that Thomas Kinkade is the Painter of Light©, and before I go on, you need to know that I judge an artist by his works, not where he pisses, whom he gropes, or whether "God is his agent." In fact, if he urinated on a Walt Disney icon, well, that actually makes me kind of happy, since I've always seen Disney as an exploiter hidden under the guise of innocence.

Anyway, Painter of Light© is such a great phrase (why didn't Manet think if that?), it got me to thinking. We already have Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light©, what we need is the "Sphincter of Light©"

The question is: Who?

Now some of you are thinking Rover. Others are thinking King George, or maybe Cheney, or Mehlman, or Gonzales... The list could get very, very long, so, readers, you see the challenge. Who deserves this winning phrase? Who, in the world of Republican skulduggery, can equal Thomas Kinkade's feats of the brush? Who stands above the rest of the pack, not as the Artist of Evil©, Prevaricator Without Peer© or just a plain arsehole, who, who is the Sphincter of Light©?

Remember, we are branding someone, giving that person a title that s/he can use an market himself/herself with for the rest of his or her life. Like Kinkade, they can make millions, even thought they may have to serve some jail time first. So think, be original, and, as always, vote with your heart and forget about Diebold.

P.S. I've left off George Bush. It's just too easy. Also the list of possibilities is so long that it may not include someone you feel should be the S

Voting is on over at Dailykos. I'll post results later.

Update: And the Winner is...

Bill O'Reilly

Congratulations! Out of the Thousand Sphincters of Light© that comprise the Republican leadership and its cronies, you are the winner. [Yes, the results actually placed McCain at the top, but polling was not scientific because, I liste McCain under "John (I'll stab you in the back) McCain," while other Sphincter's of light© just had the names. Conclusion, push-polling works, but it's not solid scientific method, and around here, only the most solid of methods are allowed. We do science! Science, Man, science!]