Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Election Day Predictions...

First of all, TBogg:

Anything can happen.
Except Katherine Harris winning.
That's not gonna happen.

I try not to get too excited about elections because, like having sex with celebrities, it never really turns out to be as good as you expect it to be (I mean Salma Hayek was good...but I've had better). Each election is not the end all and be all of life, or as Duane Thomas once said about the Super Bowl, "If the Super Bowl is the ultimate game, then how come they're going to play it again next year?". With this election the Democrats will probably take over the House and make a dent in the Senate, but not so much that it will stop George Bush from doing what he damn well pleases because we're at "war", and he has people who will go to bat for him saying that the Constitution is not a suicide pact while in the background we'll see Uncurious George juggling flaming torches in a room rapidly filling with gas.

Here are some things that will happen:

* No matter how many seats the Democrats take in the House it won't be enough to keep the Republican echo chamber from pointing out that it most certainly is not a mandate, while all the time whining about the loss of control of the commitees.

* Joe Lieberman is going to win and it will somehow translate as support for the war and civility and common sense...and nobody in the media will point out what a sleazy campaign he ran.

* There will be at least one upset that the polls didn't predict and that will be held up as evidence that all polls are always wrong...except when they side with your candidate.

* There will be reports of brown people voting which will cause Michelle Malkin to go off the rails. Okay. Farther off the rails.

* Several Republican congressmen with ethical clouds hanging over them will be re-elected only to have to step down later when indictments are handed down.

* Matt Drudge will hype something completely trivial unless Madonna does something to distract him which makes him take his eye off of the ball.

* Within a week, embargoed news about the war will be released and people will find out things in Iraq are even worse then we suspect.

* Win or lose, George Allen's national aspirations are finished. Fertig! Verfallen! Verlumpt! Verblunget! Verkackt!

* Lots of recounts.

* Michael Steele will lose..but that won't stop Republicans from touting him to run with McCain in 2008 because they believe that they are just one Negro away from perpetual electoral domination.

* Harold Ford will lose because he is a lousy candidate who is transparently phony.

* If either Marilyn Musgrave or JD Hayworth loses I will be one happy boy.

* You will see one politician elected who does not represent your district or state and you will wonder what the hell is wrong with the people of that district or state. That politician will probably be Tom Tancredo.

* You should probably TIVO Katherine Harris' concession speech so you can play it later at parties.

* Pelosi fever! Catch it!

* The most banal no-content election blogging will come from Mary Katharine Ham who, while under the delusion that she is teh hot, will provide the kind of political insights one might expect from the assistant night manager down at Wet Seal.

* Your best source for a sense of what is happening will still be at Kos and MyDD. The best post-mortem will come from Digby. As usual.

* Dick Cheney will be spending election day hunting with his daughter who will not get shot in the face because she is quicker on her feet than a 78-year old man. Besides , it's not lesbian season in South Dakota ...yet.

* Blogger will go down throughout the day.

* I will be around, Blogger permiting.

And remember, as Yogi Berra once said: It's ain't over for Rick Santorum until the K-Lo posts.

Atrios is more precise in predicting Drudge's evil actions:
"This one's about as easy as predicting tomorrow's sunrise, but I predict that at some point around mid-morning Drudge will come up with some story about suspected voting shenanigans which faults "urban Democrats" and that story will quickly come to dominate all election day coverage of voting problems.

Because, Matt Drudge rules their world."
Of course, he speaks about Drudge, but, really, Drudge is only as powerful as the media that listen to him.

They all listen to him.

I predict that the Democrats will win the house and quickly fall victim to the Republican noise machine. I predict that Dems will be campaigning for McCain in two years. I predict that Dems will begin some important hearing against Crime, Corruption and Page-diving, but the party as a whole will abandon the investigators and Upholders of Truth, therefore caving in to the Republicans who "own" the media. I predict that U.S. troops will remain in significant numbers in the Middle East and that posse comitatus is further weakened. I predict that popular involvement in elections continues to grow. I predict that Ken Mehlman will be outed in some significant way. I predict that Obamarama, no matter how milquetoast and conservative that movement is, "takes over" the country according to the media. I predict that Hillary doesn't make it out of the primaries. I predict that Borat does a sequal that is not very funny. I predict that Blair has to leave his post earlier than he stated.